Sports Psychiatry

Today I went to my town Psychiatrist. I hadn't been feeling well lately, and I thought something was wrong. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey Doc, how's it going?
Doc: Ah, good, I guess. I got child support papers up to my neck....
Me: That's great but I got bigger problems.
Doc: Ah, yes, do explain.
Me: Well, it feels as if I am in some parallel universe.
Doc: How so?
Me: Well, I mean the sports world is upside down. Guys riding bikes are now testing positive for steroids.
Doc: That sneaky Floyd Landis?
Me: Yeah, him, how'd you know.
Doc: Uh, common name.
Me: Oh, well I keep thinking my idol, Michael Vick, is being indicted for dogfighting charges. I mean, he can't, his mom nicknamed him "Ookie" for Crip's sake.
Doc: I see.
Me: And now baseball is exploding. I keep dreaming there's this guy about to break Hank Aaron's record-illeagely!
Doc: Ah
Me: And players are turning from Ms. Homecoming Queen to Mr. Olympus, for the Love of things, Sammy Sosa looks like Arnold Schwarzanegger!
Doc: Another steroid user?
Me: Steroid, what the jeez is a steroid, what some kind of magical bean? Listen you quack, we're not in a fairy tale here!
Doc: You might be.
Me: Huh?
Doc: Well, you see you are suffering from a rare form of "Letdownitis". All of your heroes and idols are starting to let you down, so you are just in complete denial!
Me: It can't be!
Doc: I'm afraid so.

And that is when I tried to jump threw the window, only realize that I am on a four story building. I now have a full body cast.