H***** Barry Bonds Part One

Since technically I can't say I h-te Barry Bonds on this kind of website, I'll have to go with I dislike Barry Bonds for this type of article.

• I dislike Barry Bonds because he hustles less than a man in a coma.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he runs with the speed of a turtle with a 2-ton anchor strapped to its back.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because ESPN's Pedro Gomez clings to him like a lost puppy.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he juiced up like the Governor.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he has more mistresses than Borat.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he's further back on his taxes than Pete Rose.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he turned into Mr. Olympiad in a span of three years.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because Ruth did it on hot dogs and beer.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he couldn't stop a 90-year-old blind burgular with his defense.
• I dislike Barry Bonds because he is about to pass Hank Aaron, a true legend.

Come back soon for my next blog: H***** Barry Bonds Part Two